self-abasement

I'm not pretty enough,
and yet I'm not cute too.
I always envy of those girls whose very pretty,
those girls whose really slim,
and those girl whose can attract many HOT guys.
And me,
I been tease that I'm really boylish,
and I don't even have my only once First love yet.
I'm very incompetent,
and yet I'm really unwise.
maybe I'm lazy,
or yet I'm can't memorize those that i had read,
I always can't get my result in flying colours.
People that always said that I'm self-obsessed,
actually I'm not,
I'm just want to get more attention among my friends,
so i did such stupid moves,
But then they just say that I'm moron,
what else can i do?try to get emo or else?
Perhaps i do try to suicide,
so that you guys only can put some attention on me.
guys,
i can like a guy that i even don't know who is he.
try to talk to him but can't.
BECAUSE of self-abasement,
that I'm not pretty,
I'm phat fat!
so what should i do,
i just can do nothing and continue to stare him.
Sometimes staring those couples walking down the street,
i felt depress,
i need pet,
i need a people that can let me feel that he do cherish me.
-finish-